Family – More Than a Common Last Name

Family is an immensely vast term. It can mean anything from a group of unrelated people who treat each other with care and respect, to the physical linking of people due to their relatives. Family can have both a positive and negative connotation; a family of thieves is very different than a family of do-gooders. This brief article will address family in the sense of lineage, that is, actual relatives, and the bond between family members will be especially focused on.

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and even more distant ties are all considered to be family. Some families are small, others are large, some are close (both in mind and location), and others are distant. Even with so many differences from family to family, one common thread can be commonly found in families throughout the world. That common thread can be referred to as mental attachment.

When we are born, we immediately form a very strong attachment with our mother. The bond with our father comes next, and as we age, we learn how to form stronger bonds with the other people in our life. The reason why babies form such strong bonds with their mother and father so quickly has everything to do with survival.

Some people argue that our closest relative is the monkey. Have you ever seen a newborn monkey? It clings to its mother desperately, and with good reason, because mother monkeys continue to move about, eat, forage, and swing from limb to limb with their newborns. If a baby monkey were to be less closely bonded with its mother, it may reach out to another monkey just as the mother is preparing to jump, and the outcome would be less than favorable.

So humans rely on their bond with their immediate family to protect them and care for them as they age into early childhood. What does this mean for the rest of us? Well, if you are already living on your own, you are probably familiar with that desire to call or visit your parents from time to time. Perhaps your relationship with your parents is actually pretty bad, perhaps one of your parents was never there when you were a child. I’ll bet you still get that urge to make contact, to touch base. This feeling can be directly related to our infancy.

John Bowlby, known as the father of the attachment theory, believes that the parent-child bond is the most contributing factor to a child’s developing personality. The attachment that forms between children and their parents, siblings, and more distant family helps keep families together, even when tragedies occur, or when disputes threaten to break the family apart.

So the next time you are sitting at the picnic table at your family reunion, watching Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Benjamin bicker about the potatoes, wondering why you came, think about how beneficial your bond with your family is. After all, who else will loan you a hundred dollars, albeit begrudgingly, the next time you are in a jam?

Keep Your Family a Happy Family by Sharing Funny Life Quotes

It was dream of every individual to build a happy family. Having a happy family is a true pleasure of life. The joy of being in such a family is something that can’t be describe in words. It increases your chances of being successful in your professional life as well.

So how can we build a Family which laughs together cries together plays together and supports each other in every circumstances of life. We can build a happy family if we can make the safe, happy and fun environment in home. One of the best ways to do so is by sharing daily funny life quotes with our family.

Communication is most important factor in building and maintaining happy family. Sharing Funny Life Quotes encourage communication between family members. Everyone laughs out loud while discussing funny quotes together in family.

Apart from making your family happy, sharing funny life quotes has other benefits as well. It builds strong bond of love between family members, increases your energy level, help you get rid of your routine work related stress and keeps you fit and healthy physically as well as mentally.

There are plenty of ways to share funny quotes about life with your family. You can put a quote in the wall of your child room. You can buy a t-shirt for your child with funny quote printed on it. You can put a quote in the mirror, in refrigerator, in the hat of your child as well as yours, in your body as a tattoo quote or you can buy children stationary with funny quotes printed on it. The possibilities are endless. Use your own creativity and find out the way that best suits the personality of your family.

Your main aim of sharing quotes is to encourage communication between family members. It’s essential to build happy family. Every member of family should be should be comfortable in presenting in his/her views and opinions. Sharing Funny Life Quotes make every family member makes comfortable in talking to each other which in turn bring all family members close together.

Is It Better For the Family To Stay Together After Your Spouse Cheats?

I sometimes hear from folks whose sole motivation after their spouse has cheated or had an affair is to keep their family together at all costs. As angry and as hurt as the affair has made them, they are determined not to allow this to tear their family apart. However, as determined as many of them are, they often have small doubts as to whether or not this effort is going to worth it in the long run.

I heard from a wife who said: “my husband had an affair at work last year. I kicked him out for a little while because I could not stand to look at him, much less to live under the same room with him. My kids did not understand this of course and I wasn’t going to tell them. Over time, we all began to miss my husband. I told him that I was allowing him to come back only because I want to keep my family together no matter what. My parents are divorced and this is very painful for me because they could never get along and I always had to choose between them. As a result, I’m not close with my extended family. I do not want this for my own children. But I am still so angry with my husband. I still feel so much pain. And my husband knows this. He says he can never feel at ease around me. He says neither of us are really happy but he knows that this is all his fault. I am starting to wonder if this is all really worth it. I am wondering if it’s not more problematic for my kids to be living in this awkward situation. I guess I’m wondering if I will look back when my children are adults and be glad that I kept us all together.” I’ll try to address these concerns in the following article.

I Think That Preserving Your Family Is Definitely Worth It As Long As You Insist On Healing: The situation that the wife described wasn’t an ideal one. Sure, the family was still together. But they were all still in pain. The kids likely knew that there was something going on. They likely felt the tension quite intensely. And, in small ways, they likely had to choose between their parents sometimes, especially in terms of their loyalty.

With that said, I will be the first to admit that my primary motivation for trying to save my marriage after my husband’s affair was my children. If I only had myself to think about, I might well have packed my bags and never looked back. But, like this wife, I am a child of divorce who wants better for my own children.

With that said, although my children motivated me, I was also clear on the fact that I was unwilling to live in an unhappy household. And I stressed this to my husband from the very beginning. I went through that in my own childhood and it left serious scars. So I insisted that my husband and I focus on healing so that our household would be a happy one for every one involved, including ourselves.

I am not going to tell you that there weren’t some very difficult months in our house. There were times when things were most definitely difficult for all of us. And I sometimes wondered if one of us should move out for good. But when I had these thoughts, I would promise myself that I would revisit some troublesome issues and then give the whole process a little more time. And looking back now, it was absolutely worth it. But, I do not think it would have been worth it if I was going to hang onto the anger or if my husband was going to be sullen and bitter. And it most definitely would not have been worth it if my children were caught in this unhealthy cycle.

I suppose the point that I’m trying to make is that my opinion is that it is worth it keep your family together if you can set it up so that the same family is in a healthy and happy environment. And this takes work and time. It’s not easy. And it’s not immediate. But it can work. The wife in the above scenario hadn’t really considered this. She just assumed that if she kept her family together she would have to struggle with her husband. But she hadn’t entertained the thought that if she could fix what was broken, she could actually not only tolerate him but enjoy being married to him again.

It’s Fine To Use Your Kids As Motivation, But They Shouldn’t Be The Only Thing Keeping You Together: It’s very common for me to hear from people who tell me that they are only still together for the sake of their kids. They tell me that as soon as their kids are adults, they are leaving their spouse and seeking a divorce. I find this sad. Because when they have this mindset, there is no way that they are working on or improving their marriage. They have no belief that they can ever be happy again. In short, they are accepting a sentence of living with less than they deserve.

And I don’t believe that this is necessary. I believe that you can heal your marriage, if you have the tools and the desire. I’m not saying it’s easy. But I do think it’s worth it. So to answer the question posed, I do believe that it benefits every one in the family to save your marriage after an affair, but only if it’s done in a way that returns the family to a healthy and happy state eventually. Living with tension, despair, and pain isn’t beneficial for children either, especially when this can be avoided.

Let Family Solicitors Fight Your Corner for You

Family solicitors can assist with all aspects of law including divorce, parenting problems, pre-nuptial agreements, financial settlements, mediation, wills and probate. When you are looking to resolve a family dispute, find out about child custody rights or claim back cash that you believe is yours, a team of solicitors can assist. When you first speak to a solicitor they’ll listen carefully to your problem to be able to fully understand the assistance you require and what advice they should give you. If you’re ready to hire a solicitor then the next stage will certainly be to build your case to be able to reach a satisfactory outcome.

Numerous family problems require sensitivity and care particularly where kids are concerned. If you’re going through a divorce and you have children you will need to conduct your affairs in such a way that children are not affected by bitter separations or custody battles. A firm of family solicitors will assist you to find a resolution that suits everybody and is made with the best interests of your children in mind.

Financial disputes can break families apart. Money is the reason for many family disputes and family solicitors are the experts to call when you need assistance with any such dispute. Disputes over wills and pensions are extremely common and an experienced solicitor should be able to examine the facts to be able to determine who is legally entitled to the money. All aspects of the law will come into play so that a solution can be reached quickly and in compliance with UK family law. Understanding UK family law can be difficult and complex, but with the assistance of a reputable firm of solicitors you are able to break through the red tape and jargon to understand the legislation that affects your case. Your solicitor will keep you fully informed each step of the way and build a watertight case to ensure a fast resolution is reached.

No matter what kind of family law you require assistance with a team of solicitors will be able to offer practical and professional guidance. A professional mediator can make all the difference when trying to find a resolution to a family dispute. If you are suffering from such a problem, get in touch with a firm of solicitors for peace of mind that your case is being dealt with in a professional manner and with your greatest interests at heart. Finding a good family law business to use is easy especially if you search online. Numerous solicitors are now trading online and can provide quick and efficient assistance in all aspects of UK family law.

Don’t Spend Holidays With People You Don’t Like – Even If They Are Family

Not everyone has a wonderful family gathering during the holidays; even if they try. Some people get into arguments that tear the family apart permanently and some go so far as to commit murder in a moment of rage-usually fueled by excessive alcohol or drugs. Some family members have been abused by other family members and neither has disclosed such information to the rest of the family; which results in torture for the victim, as the family rallies around the abuser-and can’t understand why the victim is behaving so coldly towards that one.

In such cases it is often better to forego the family gatherings, tradition be damned. While holidays are a time for loving friends and family to get together and voice their gratitude for each other, those times can cause deeper pain and alienation for those whose experience has been other than rosy. The bottom line for those who have seriously dysfunctional families has to be the one of safety: if it might not be safe to be there, don’t be there. It sounds simple but with pressure from family it can be hard to decline a holiday invitation.

When informing family that the invitation is being declined one has two distinct choices in the performance of that declination-truth or lies. One can tell the truth about why they will not be attending or one can create a lie about it. Truth works great for some and lies work great for those who won’t take the truth as an answer. There are those family manipulators who are difficult to deal with-the ones who insist that ‘bygones be bygones’ and who preach forgiveness. In certain cases such as abuse, it may be dangerous or foolish to attend a get-together. One can always adopt the attitude of “I forgive them and choose to love them from afar.” One can also state very clearly “it will be a cold day in Hell before I allow them anywhere near me!”

Sometimes it truly is the best decision to stay away. There are countless stories of holiday dinners gone bad, where old wounds broke open and murderous rage ended with one or more family members in the grave. If the family members are prone to violence, holidays would best be spent far away from each other. Stabbing a butter-knife into a brother’s heart to punctuate a point of contention can be rather detrimental to both brothers… and the rest of the family too.

Before giving in to the sappy holiday wishes of the family members who have no idea of the suffering that one has caused to another, ask this question: does this serve me? If not, refuse the invitation and go live life on your own terms. After all, forgiveness is in the heart, not the mouth. Even when one has forgiven an abuser, there can still be danger. If the intuition is screaming “don’t go!”… listen to it. There is no good reason for the victim to have to sit in the same room with an abuser if they don’t want to. Preserve self and go make your own holiday traditions… happy ones.

©2010 Dr.Valerie Olmsted All Rights Reserved

Dr. Valerie Olmsted is an author, naturopathic physician, metaphysician, internet entrepreneur, artist, speaker, and lover of life. Traveling with the Quantum Vortex Experience, she has helped thousands of people reach the inner connection they are seeking and has contributed to the discoveries of manifestation practices via quantum physics applications.

Tips For Improving Your Family Life

It is often said that family life is the most vital component to a successful society. This is because the ties that bind family members can’t be broken, and are sometimes all we have in a world gone awry. The stress of everyday life can sometimes drive families apart, but luckily, there are a number of things you can do to improve your family life and strengthen your bonds with one another. Just use some of the following techniques to begin experiencing a more harmonious family life today.

Schedule family fun nights. This may sound silly, but scheduling weekly activities together doesn’t have to be corny or boring. We recommend seeing a movie together, taking a trip to the nearest go-kart track, or just staying at home and playing Monopoly. You’d be surprised how much fun it can be to just hang out with one another – and the time you spend together will also help you become closer as a family.
Eat dinner together. Studies have shown that children who regularly sit down to meals with their parents do better in school and have less behavioral problems. This is due to the fact that spending time with their family each day, even if it’s only 30 minutes, helps children to feel loved, supported, and cared for. And the advantages work both ways; parents are able to raise children more effectively when they are able to touch base with them on a daily basis.
Take care of yourself. It is easy for family life to suffer when parents become overly tired, stressed, or unhappy. But because parents are the head of the family, it is very important that they take care of themselves so that they have the strength to guide their children. If you’re a parent, schedule yourself a nap or massage on a regular basis to help you recharge, and also give you the energy you need to lead your family.
Reach out to extended family members. Help foster family cohesiveness by reminding children of the love and support of their extended family members. Encourage children to send birthday cards or make phone calls to long-distance relatives in order to keep in touch. Bonding together for the common purpose of contacting your shared family members will help to strengthen your own tight-knit family circle.
Get regular exercise. Physical fitness is essential to the well-being of every individual, so why not make it a family activity? The next time you have a free Saturday afternoon, get the whole family together and go biking or play a game of baseball. Not only will you feel better afterwards, your family will get much closer in the process.

Do You Have Any Family Secrets?

Behind the smiles of those in the quintessential family photograph may be more than the momentary happiness they seem to suggest. The camera is very accurate in recording what it sees, but deceitful in what it does not. Like the camera itself, however, those who look from the outside in may also be unable to see beyond the image projected without. What may exist within are the secrets that ensure no others discern the truth behind the people who hide them, including, ironically, those who play a part in concealing them.

The secrets themselves can be numerous and all-encompassing, from alcoholism, incest, and betrayal, to child abuse, and those who need to hide them take Shakespeare’s postulate that “all the world’s a stage, and all men and women merely players” to levels even he never foresaw, since their almost scripted acts in the home only ensure the perpetuation of their deceit, leaving friends, colleagues, and relatives unsuspecting of their existence. But how?

Take abuse. In the case of children, they have no choice but to place total trust in the parents who inflict it upon them, reasoning, paradoxically, that any detriment to which they are subjected is deserved because of their own intrinsic flaws and unlovability. A protecting, nurturing father and mother, they reason, would never deliberately harm them, unless, of course, it was justified, and they certainly have no other frame of reference with which to compare them at a very young age.

Aside from these dynamics, they are equally unable to identify their abuse, since it quickly becomes habitual, periodic, and routine. Indeed, their homes may be more equitable to minefields than houses, as evidenced by their years of painful experience in them, leaving them only to wonder when, not if, the next explosion will occur. Dissociated and seeking the emotional means to minimize them, they actually view these infractions as “normal.” The first blow hurts. All subsequent ones do not, because by this time they are numb to them.

Parents, on the other hand, offend as a result of having been subjected to the same “normal” treatment themselves and this, resultantly, is what they internalized. It is, to a degree, all they know. Living under a dome of denial, they seek to walk in the shoes of their own overwhelming parents and consequently fail to gain empathy or feeling for the harm they inflict, often to the point of being disconnected from their own consciences.

They negotiate the world with a hole in their souls and are usually hungry to fill it, by repeating the same infractions done to them.

What ironically may seem to be elements that would otherwise tare such families apart-including habitual, sometimes cyclic abuse, chaotic “normalcy,” absorption and suppression of detrimental actions, silence concerning their consequences to others, same-family member’s progressive spiritual and emotional incapacitation, and, finally, the collective denial that anything amiss even occurs–are the very ones that hold it together under these circumstances.

Even those who, later in life, may be able to recall some of the traumatic, predatory parental incidents they were subjected to, they may equally be unable to connect with any feelings associated with them, since they were most likely so volatile and life-threatening, that their only means of enduring them was to dissociate to the point of numbed detachment, as if they occurred to someone else.

Three simple, but potentially toxic, rules ensure that a family’s secrets remain hidden: Don’t talk. Don’t trust. And don’t feel. To such a family, they are virtually commandments never to be broken.

Often reduced to the less-than-valuable people their parents once believed themselves to be as a result of their own dysfunctional, alcoholic, or abusive upbringings, their children, in the first instance, are expected “to be seen and not heard.” Perceived as still-immature people devoid of sufficient knowledge to accurately interpret their observations, they are treated as if anything they say is subjected to their own inaccuracies and lack of understanding as children.

Subconsciously, of course, their parents may fear their own exposure, since nothing is a greater enemy to denial than unbridled truth uttered by youth.

Breeding and reinforcing the second rule, the “don’t trust” directive subtly teaches children that what they observe is neither valid nor reliable, leading to distorted reality. As a result, they learn not to trust their own perceptions, which invariably lead, according to their “older and wiser” adult parents, to inaccurate conclusions. “No, you didn’t see daddy rage at mommy like a madman. We were just having a little discussion. You must be watching too many cartoons.”

Finally, the “don’t feel” rule, grounded in their parents’ own childhood experiences, indicates that children’s feelings are unimportant and of very limited use or worth. Sometimes they are simply too frightening for their inadequately equipped parents to deal with, prompting their children, after repeated attempts, to disconnect from them, since they are usually met with shame and hence serve no purpose.

Because they are very real and would ordinarily aid their development, they are stuffed, shelved, or swallowed at the time of generation, seeking an outlet for accepted or welcomed expression. Like water in a damned river, however, they wait-and, in the case of negative ones, like ticking time bombs-for a relief valve.

These simple, but toxic rules are just as effective at covering up the multitude of other family secrets.

Whatever is modeled in children’s homes-of-origin becomes representative of the world at large they will eventually enter.

Pitted, as helpless children, against protective parents who sometimes metamorphose themselves into betraying predators, and hopelessly sinking into the family quicksand of denied dysfunction, children rigidly uphold these unspoken rules because they ensure their own survival-and, ironically, that of their family’s secrets.

What others on the outside looking in see is usually what the family itself wishes them to–a smiling snapshot that can take many esteemed and respected forms, from a meticulously kept garden, hard-working people, and highly educated offspring to dedicated involvement in a local community preservation society. But, in the end, behind every family secret is shame and in front of it is the family system’s denial that keeps it hidden.

How to Make the Most of Your Family Vacations

Most of the time when you plan a family vacation, you are looking for a way for your family to get together and just enjoy themselves without the worries of every day life. Take the time to learn some of the various different ways that you can go about planning a family vacation that is going to make the most of your time together as a family. There are so many different things pulling families in every direction that it is often difficult to plan a vacation that will satisfy the whole family. Taking a few different steps will help you to make the most of it, for everyone involved.

While families can consist of young children, parents, teenagers, young married adults, grandchildren – the list goes on- you will see that it is important to find a way to bring them all together comfortably. This can reduce stress for everyone in the family. Take the time to find a time for your family vacation that will be good for everyone who plans to attend. There are a lot of different things that go on, between other vacations, school, sports, work, and holidays that pull families apart. Make sure that you talk to people in your family to find a time that will be just as convenient for one person as it is for another. Making sure that everyone is happy with the time that is set is the first way to make sure that you have a happy family vacation.

Plan to do some fun things while you are on vacation. There are definitely some things that cater to children more than adults, but the adults can often have just as much fun as the kids when they visit these places. Remember everyone when you are planning the places that you will visit on your trip. You should take the time to plan a few different things so that everyone is sure to do something that they will enjoy while on vacation. A vacation should be enjoyed by everyone involved.

Another way to ensure that you are able to make the most of your family vacation is by ensuring that you do not spend a ton of money on your trip. Financial hardships can often cause a lot of stress. If you take the time to find some of the best vacations at the most affordable rates, everyone will remain happy and stress free because they do not have to worry about the money that is being spent. There are many ways to find vacation deals that will meet the needs of any budget, be sure to find the one that is best for you and your family.

When you are planning the next family vacation, remember to take these things into consideration. If you do this, then you are sure to have the happiest and most productive family vacation you have ever had before. This will make sure that everyone enjoys the time that is spent together as a family.

Top Rated Suburbs to Rent Apartments in Philadelphia

Like most major east coast cities, Philadelphia packs a lot of people, places, and things into a relatively small land mass. The 6th largest city in the United States, Philadelphia is a hub for the health and financial industries. People moving to the area should research the housing and neighborhoods they might be interested in before they arrive. Apartments are fairly plentiful; you’ll just need a list of Philadelphia apartment rentals to get you started on your search.

While Philly has much to offer, many people shy away from living right in city center. The top rated suburbs to rent apartments in Philadelphia may require a significant commute into the city, but they are close enough that you can still enjoy the city’s amenities. If you’re new to the area, you may find you’ll have better luck working with an agent. Just looking at a list of available apartments won’t help you determine the best place to live. An agent can help you sort through the listings to find the suburb right for you.

If you’re moving with a family, apartments in Philadelphia proper might not offer the school system you’re looking for; Malvern, Devon and Wayne are all in Tredyffrin Easttown School District-the second best school system in the nation. These are affluent to middle class neighborhoods with rents averaging $1,000 – $1,300 for a 2 bedroom apartment.

Valley Forge, King of Prussia, and West Chester all have excellent school systems. These neighborhoods are considered middle-class and are newer than other parts of Philly. The apartment units in these neighborhoods ($1,200 – $1,500 for a 2 bedroom) tend to be more spread out and have more green space around them than those closer to the city. The downside of these areas is the commute. Downtown Philadelphia is about an hour away. Havertown is family friendly and a little more affordable than West Chester.

If you’re seeking the very best of the Philadelphia apartments in the suburbs, take a look at Bala Cynwyd, Penn Valley, Bryn Mawr, or Villanova. These neighborhoods are all part of the old “Main Line” Pennsylvania. Apartments in these areas are very exclusive and you should be prepared to pay $3,000 – $6,000 for a 2 bedroom unit. Situated along the banks of the Schuylkill River, you’ll be close to golf and country clubs; enjoy upscale shopping at the Bala Cynwyd Mall with anchor stores like Saks and Lord and Taylor; and have access to some of the most famous and exclusive private schools in the country such as The Shipley School, Jack M. Barrack Hebrew Academy, and the Baldwin School.

If you’re moving to Philadelphia to attend school, some of the best universities and colleges in the country are located in or near Philly and the surrounding suburbs. Rutgers, Temple, Bryn Mawr, the University of Pennsylvania, Villanova, Swarthmore, and the Art Institute of Philadelphia all have campuses in the area. If being close to a particular campus is a top priority in your apartment location, be sure to mention that to your agent, or make it part of your online search criteria.

Joy Michelle is an Internet marketing consultant and enjoys helping people find great products on the Internet.

Rent A Self Catering Apartment For Your Next Holiday

For many people, the highlight of their year is a holiday abroad. This has been the trend ever since the late sixties. However more and more people are changing their choice of accommodation by choosing self catering apartment instead of hotels.

I had always hated using hotels, but it had never occurred to me to rent a self catering apartment and I would not have known where to start looking anyway. Then my friend returned from her holiday in Ibiza and told me about the fantastic time she had. She raved about how relaxed it was when renting a self catering apartment.

There are not many hotels that can accommodate a family of eight in one room, we always had to pay for extra rooms which made the price extremely expensive. Hotels also have strict rules about taking food and drink up to the rooms. The kids can also be quite nosy at times as well, and it was never a proper holiday for me as I was always waiting for someone to complain about the noise.

My friend told me that the apartments to rent were very practical and luxurious. It was just like having your own property but in a foreign country. I needed to see this for myself and immediately opened Google to search for sites where these self catering apartments were for rent. It turns out that a lot of the apartments are private rents by ex-pats who have bought property abroad and simply rent it out to cover the running costs.

I found apartments with luxury bathrooms, all modern cons and lots of bedrooms, so we no longer had to sleep on top of one another. The price was also very cheap and we would save money as each apartment came with a kitchen so we did not have to go out to restaurants every night.

For our next holiday, we knew we wanted to go to Ibiza so I sat there looking at hundreds of gorgeous family apartments to rent. One appeared in the search and instantly I knew it was the apartment that I wanted to rent. I made the reservation online and the money would be paid on our arrival. I was even able to pay for a cleaner to come into the apartment every day. This was great as it meant I did not have to spend all day cleaning up after the kids.

The apartment that I rented for that holiday was a four bedroom apartment and it really did make a difference to the quality of our holiday. I did not have to set the alarm and get everyone up in case we missed the breakfast slot. Instead we woke up when we wanted to and had breakfast on the balcony.

When you are thinking of your next holiday abroad. I suggest you take a look at the thousands of self catering apartments that are available to rent. You will find them for every country in the world, so it does not matter what your destination is. I have already booked an apartment for our next holiday in Ibiza. I am looking forward to feeling more relaxed and carefree than I ever did in a hotel.