Mending the broken family unit begins with just one person. It may be you especially if you have been the rock of the family so far. You may be the mediator of the household. If so then you need to make use of this role, and instead of using it to smooth things over use it to assess and rectify the problems that are ripping your family apart. Start with dealing with each of the family members individually. Talk to them to find out what is bothering them, why they are doing the things they are doing that is upsetting the other family members. Even if they can’t provide the answer right now determine if they are willing to help put the family back together again. You need to do this with everyone that lives within your home.
The next thing to keep in mind is to take small steps. What may have started out as a very small incident a long time ago that was left to fester could be the root cause of all the damage that has been done to your family. You need to work both ends against the middle here. You need to go back and mend the gap that first started to ruin your family, and at the same time you need to begin to undo the damage that is taking place now as a result of it.
This is no easy task and the biggest mistake would be to believe that just because everyone has come to the agreement that they want to pull the family together again that you will all live happily ever after. There is a lot of hard work ahead of every person in the family.
A mistake that you don’t want to make is to forget about yourself either. You are part of the family, and even if the relationship strengthens amongst the rest you have been wounded along the way, but just too busy to deal with it. You must include yourself in this healing process as well.
Mending the family is like trying to put together a huge puzzle. Each piece interlocks and its just a matter of finding the right pieces and where they fit. Think about it though, if you have ever put a puzzle together how did you begin? First you laid out all the pieces so you know what you had to deal with. Then you grouped the pieces together that were similar. By identifying all the issues in the family you are laying out the pieces. Then by putting these issues into categories you are grouping them. Then the next step in the puzzle is to do the outside frame. In your family the framework is built around calling a truce while you work on fitting the pieces together.
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